No, I’m not stuck at the bottom of a collapsed well with only one bar of service and 5% battery. But I am still in desperate need of help. Prepare yourself, then read the following sentence:

Bess scowled at her teacher’s besweatered backside.

Does using that word convey a particular image or is it too confusing in its novelty? Bespectacled is a thing, but it sounds better out loud than it looks on the page. I’m worried besweatered is too weird to make sense in print: Bee-sweet-erred. Swee-at-erred. What the heck?

Am I right, or can I keep it? (I secretly love it. I want to keep it. But I hate words that make your eyes hurt, so…)

(PS, I can finally publish Bess once I figure this out!)